So as weeks go, last week was a bit of.....a bit much. My boss announced that he would no longer be my boss mostly and wholy because he will no longer be with the university. I'm pretty sure I shed like 3 tears. I was really sad...additionally...some great people came to campus this weekend for the second interview weekend. I think I'd like them if they were here. No lie. Additionally...in my dance class my teacher, who wanted me to jump from Ballroom 2 to 3, told me there's no need to move because I am doing more difficult things than they are in their class...so I'm totally stoked...and definitely thinking that in a previous or future life I will do something dance related. It lights up my life...and it's magical...
um...now enter this week...I still haven't heard from Heather at TWU...and it's been like 3 weeks since she spoke with heVPSA....I was so excited and so hopeful. I've now gotten contact from Heather of UTA...and I know her...so it's nothing new. Um...I haven't heard from SCAD in ACUHO-I, but that was the world's worst interview, so Ididn't think I would. I have however, heard from Indiana and they are going a different direction....so...needless to say....I'm in a bit of a bind right now. Granted it's only February, and I still technically have time...I kinda don't have time, you know.
anyway...the weird thing is I have a lot going on in my mind, body, spirit...and I even feel some sense of urgency....but I can't say that I'm freaking out...yet. But in all honesty...this is the first time in a long time I have absolutely no plan...the acuho-i stuff was supposed to be my back-up plan. It was supposed to be there just in case things didn't pan out with a dean's office, but I was so sure that things at TWU would. I'm....I don't know...was I stupid? was I naive in thinking that this was going to work. I prayed that God show me what I need to do or what to say and when to act...but did I really just go full force on a plan I'd created and do completely opposite of what I said and know I shouldn't do? But seriously I thought the Indiana interview went well. I really clicked with the guy who did the interviewing and I was saying everything straight from the heart. I believed in everything I said. I think it was the first time in a long time I wasn't b.s.ing in an interview...I was actually quite comfortable and ready to roll. Or maybe that was the problem. I was too comfortable. I was lacking in professionalism going with the way the interviewer took our time on the phone.
So there's a giant knot in the pit of my stomach. It's twisting and getting worse as the day is progressing...mostly because right now it's 3 o'clock..and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get to a 5:30 meeting when I don't get off work 'til 5, and it takes approximately an hour to get back to Athens...and that's NOT where my car is located...on top of that I have an endless number of demands and no outlet...really...and even me talking about it doesn't erase the things from my list...and is it horrible that when I talk I am afraid nobody listens...this is the problem...I seem so emotion-less that when I do appear to emote people don't take me seriously. They think I'm being hyperdramatic...and exaggerating everything for if anything...comedic effect...but real talk...I'm being so serious. I feel like I could totally cry right here, right now in my office...and I almost think I need to...I need to do something to dump...to get rid of all the extra baggage that isn't the abundance of work I already have.
I think I'm gonna go watch The Wedding Planner and pretend like there are no problems...at least for tonight....probably not the best practice, but it is what it is. So it's done...
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