So much of nothing is going on and it's all going so fast and all I want it to do is stop...

...Internally I'm experiencing a mild panic attack. What has brought this on...I don't know...I think it's been simmering for a while. I think I've gotten to this point where so many things are just going well...and going so right...and a small part of me says that something is so wrong...and any minute now I'm going to be side swiped by the inevitable not so well that is approaching...I don't know why I can't just be happy and content with what is...right now...but something isn't sitting well with me and I don't like that feeling. I should be like super happy and just like...hardcore about life...I fell pretty and settled and good for the first time in a while...I'm doing well in my academic life/professional life...I feel good and pretty with physical me, and that's good...that's great actually that I'm waking up daily and being pleased with the person that looks back at me in the mirror. That's awesome...so why then is there this something else that's plaguing me right now...or at least it's trying to...I'm trying to resist. It's weird too b/c I haven't journaled in like 3 weeks...it's weird...b/c there's so much going on in my head...but I just haven't felt the need to put things down on paper...oh...I think right now seeing Brittany and Kendra being done with school and being very much about getting to work and being all adulty