It's honing in on day 3...

...of a beautifully horrible headache. I'm not sure what's going on beneath all the levels of dermis and my skull amidst all the veins, arteries and capillaries...but it's bringing me a whole lot of something other than peace. But...I'm ready for 90 days to be up so I can go to a physician...I'm tired of taking countless advils knowing that they won't do anything to solve the problem...and I'm kinda tired of hurting. For now I suppose I will try to calm myself and free my mind of any potential stresses that could be triggering this mind numbing pain.

One day this week...

I feel like one day this week I will succumb to the thoughts in my head and overcome the fear in my heart. I will contact him...maybe...potentially...ugh.

I AM NOT AN INTERN

just in case you weren't aware...get over your fear of the young, bright, and capable...ish ain't cute. #justsayin

Have you ever...

...really just felt like your life is on repeat? I know that makes no sense, but I promise it really does. I'm sitting in my office really feeling like I am purposeless...so under normal circumstances one would say, "hey, go talk to someone and ask them if you can help them out"...well...right circumstances aren't quite normal...I feel like everyone knew I was coming, but they didn't know I was coming...I'm here...I have a meeting w/ my supervisor (which she wasn't originally my super)...but I meet with her...and we talk and she gives me one set of "duties"...then I talk to her boss and she gives me a different/yet the same set of duties...with her I get more clarity...but I'm nervous that since my boss gave me one set...there are others around who aren't aware of the more clear set of duties...make sense...no? read it again...b/c it so does...I'm supposedly supervising someone...but I'm fairly certain she doesn't know that...now how on earth am I to broach that there subject...and on top of that...that memo came from big boss...does little boss have that same understanding? Come on communication...happen. The things I want to complain about, but refuse to...I definitely wrote a journal entry about last year in the summer...and in that entry I mentioned that I wrote another entry the year before expressing similar sentiments...weird...I must remove myself from this cycle. Pero...como? Boo. Boo. Boo.


I need to find the good part of today...quickly.

It's already Sunday...

I feel like my weekend just started and it's already over. It's weird getting used to this going to work thing. I sat in my office the other day and was just a little weirded out about the idea that I am no longer temporarily in an office that's not mine...I'm like legit official...I have an office, with department polos, and business cards, health insurance, and a parking decal...this is no joke...and I'm not terribly certain I know what to do with slash how to manage that. I'm going through the motions right now. Because this is well within the realm of things that I've done before...but at some point things will change...my time of newness will wear off and that whole "working woman" stamp will become more than obvious to the world (and hopefully by that time, to me). Weird...ok...I shall depart. I wonder what things next week will hold.